【精】可爱又搞笑的说说[收藏版]

幽默是一种生活态度，风趣之人都会说一些幽默风趣的话，幽默的句子更容易博人一笑，你知道经典的幽默句子有哪些吗？下面是句怡美网小编为您精心收集整理，为您带来的《【精】可爱又搞笑的说说[收藏版]》，仅供参考，希望对您有帮助。

1.做个肥宅有什么不好的？当幸福来敲门，我就可以马上开门。

2.原来这辈子最想当的，是那种有两个臭钱就了不起的人。

3.你可千万不要对我忽冷忽热，那样我会感冒的。

4.一时兴起、拿着自己的照片当桌面，结果就中了病毒

5.想起上了这么多年的学，现在想想，还是当年在幼儿园最好混。

6.想到明天还有很多事要做，就只好睡到后天。

7.希望我能成为一个有钱又有趣的人，实在不行，光有钱也是可以的。

8.对于爱睡觉的人来说，一年四季就是春困秋乏，夏天要打盹儿，冬天要冬眠。

9.我脾气不好，成绩不好，气质不好，性格不好，长相不好，唯一值得骄傲的就是：消化好！

10.恋爱的酸味说忘就忘，金钱的芳香永远记得。

11.命里有时终须瘦，命里无时胖成球。今朝有食今朝吃，明日更肥明日忧。

12.朋友圈发自拍不要太过分，我们可是见过面的。

13.肚子饿了就打电话给我，我顺便吸一口面给你听。

14.你愿意做的太阳吗？那么请与保持92955886.7公里。......

15.上帝把智慧洒满人间，就你打了把伞！

16.世界上最远的距离不是生与死，而是我隐身、你在线，你在线、我却隐身。

17.遇到你之前，我的世界是黑白的，遇见你之后，哇靠，全黑了！

18.希望以后月老给我牵线时能换成钢丝，红线太不结实了，隔三差五的就断。

19.来我家吃饭吗？我保证，做饭我是认真的，难吃我是天真的。

20.有些事做错了就再也无法挽回了就像你和我。

21.你总是在深夜流泪 想着我这个你泡不到的妹

22.确认过太阳 真的不能出门

23.我太喜欢生气了我就应该跟灭火器谈恋爱

24.或许有一天，当你披上婚纱的时候，我已披上了袈裟。

25.骂骂你就算了，你还不知道改，非要等我打你了，你才知道我文武双全是不是？

26.现在的我，你不好好珍惜，以后的我，你高攀不起。

JyM1.cOm展读推荐

搞笑说说[收藏版]

多年之后，你若娶了，我若没嫁。叫你儿子放学路上小心点。

不要拿你的欣赏，决定我的价值。

妈妈对女儿说：“你要听话。你每惹妈妈生气一次，妈妈就长一根白头发。”女儿茅塞顿开：“哦，难怪姥姥的头发全白了。”

滚了就不要回来，姐不是收破烂的。

你有什么资格在我的世界里猖狂。

树无皮，必死无疑！人无脸，天下无敌！就是说你！

人生这么短，我凭什么还要委屈给你脸看。

钻石恒久远，一颗就破产！

你对一个人最高级别的信任是什么？“跟他出门不带一分钱。”

能从我手上抢走的东西 都是我扔下的垃圾。

天下乌鸦一般黑，还指望会有彩色的乌鸦么

幸福的极限是：全世界的猪都笑了；郁闷的极限是：全世界的猪都笑了，你还板着脸！

我从来不用酷狗，因为它根本不把我当人看，在我打开它时总叫我酷狗！

对于一个路痴来说，最值的热泪盈眶的就是，你站那别动，我去接你。

搞笑文字_可爱又搞笑的个性说说(荐)

1.我不在乎什么天长地久，我只在乎你想不想要拥有。

2.我滚了祝你长命百岁孤独终老

3.谁能告诉我，“恩恩”后面该怎么回复？

4.在你的影响之下，我也变得越来越豁达。

5.枯藤，老树，昏鸦；学校，不让，回家；突击，裸考，不挂；简直在，说梦话。

6.你说你爱我，我觉得好可笑，你对她们说过了多少次如此深情的我爱你。

7.我可以在℃左右的天给你一个℃的怀抱

8.你的晚安是晚安我的晚安是我爱你

9.生活中处处都有惊吓，你就是其中一个。

10.我们的爱就像公路上的拖拉机，轰轰烈烈

11.你的美你的笑都好吸引我我好想把它好好收藏可是你心底的花却总是为她而开放.

12.从前有一个冰，走着走着化了。

13.用迩的笑容去改變这個世界°别让这個世界改變了迩的笑容。

14.如果你在我最低谷的时候离开,你就不要在我辉煌的时候回来

15.不是我不想跟你谈，而是现实让我不能给你幸福。

16.[倘若我的所有深情你都懂就请别辜负]

17.我愿意用我的一生去爱你，而你却吝啬的连一分钟的爱都不给我。

18.我在这个世界上走走停停寻寻觅觅就是为了和你相遇

19.过去，现在，未来。我没有一个看透。

20.时间可以让人忘记，距离也会使人分离,爱情是所以因果的罪魁祸首

21.这辈子最幸福的事莫过于看着自己在乎的人一个个都幸福

22.如果有一天我放弃了你，请不要怀疑我是否恋上另一个人，是因为我发觉你不珍惜我

23.敢问懂你的人又有多少，你懂的人又有多少

24.[他不过是送我朵枯萎的花碰巧猜中了我心里的话.]

25.别矫情这世上没有不带伤的人.

26.能够哭就好，哭是开始痊愈的象征。不要哭太久，伤口结痂后被淋湿会再度感染。

27.要是回去，没有止痛药水，拿来长岛冰茶换我半晚安睡。---《可惜我是水瓶座》

28.爱情是什么？爱情就是把人从天堂推到地狱的恶魔！

29.你不再是我的一切

30.一个人对你好你会挥霍，一个人对你不好，你才会奢求.

31.世界太大我遇见了你，世界太小我丢了你。

32.苹果才是水果界的真正的老大，一个诱惑了夏娃，一个砸醒了牛顿，一个成为手机品牌，一个主宰了广场舞。

33.「我明明感觉没有深陷于你可是为什么见不到你我会这么想念」

34.回忆并不美，美的是我们。

35.没受过伤，就别笑别人的疤。

36.昨天同学问我写作业没，我说，才放假几天啊，写什么作业，一看，快开学了

37.我真的喜欢你，闭上眼，以为我能忘记，但流下的眼泪却没有骗到自己。

38.在海边不要讲笑话，会引起“海笑”的。

39.当初有多能为谁去死，现在就有多想谁去死。

40.在原谅与绝望之间游荡，唯一的感觉是伤伤伤！

41.我最害怕的一件事情是，看着我心爱的人爱上另外一个人。

42.最糟糕的感觉就是明明就是最想要的东西，却要装成不在乎。

周末的搞笑说说[收藏版]

1、这次发信息，主要有三个目的：一是联络感情;二是打发时间;三是送句特有技术含量的话：天冷了，窝里垫点草!周末快乐!

1. This time, there are three main purposes of sending messages: first, to connect with feelings; second, to pass the time; third, to send a sentence with special technical content: its cold, put some grass in the nest! Happy weekend!

2、每场恋爱的开始就是为了结束，然后很潇洒地说声拜拜，那就OK了，到了下一场换场游戏 说简单点，谈恋爱就跟打游戏一样，只要有了战略，买了武器，就应该过关斩将，通关到底了对吧。

2. The beginning of every love is to end, and then its very natural to say goodbye, thats OK. When it comes to the next game change, its easy to say that falling in love is the same as playing games. As long as theres a strategy and a weapon, you should go through the customs and get through the customs, right.

3、龌蹉的人才做龌蹉的事，没必要为龌蹉的麻烦说没必要的话

3. A lousy person does lousy things. There is no need to say unnecessary things for lousy troubles

4、我好想请你去体验一下KTV！知道什么是KTV吗？就是K你一顿，再T你一脚，最后我再做个V的手势！耶！

4. I really want to invite you to experience KTV! Do you know what KTV is? Its k you, t you, and finally Ill make a V gesture! Yeah!

5、周六周六，万事顺顺溜溜，顺风顺水乐悠悠。周日周日，万事顺顺利利，顺心顺情笑眯眯。风吹忧愁走，水送财运留，家圆业兴争上游，愿你更上一层楼。闲暇会好友，意浓情更厚。有空常联系，祝福常惦记，唯愿你：生活如意，幸福似蜜。

5. On Saturday and Saturday, everything is smooth and smooth, and the wind is smooth and the water is pleasant. On Sunday and Sunday, everything is going well and everything is going well. The wind blows away, the water delivers the money to carry on, the family circle industry prospers to contend for the upper reaches, may you go up a higher level. When you are free, you will be friends, and your feelings will be stronger. When you have time, you will always be in touch with each other. I wish you all the best in life and happiness.

6、周一悲哀的像羊，周二麻木的像驴，周三彷徨的像蚁，周四回味的像牛，周五期待的像狗，周末撒欢的像猪。周末，你撒欢了吗?

6. Monday is like a sheep, Tuesday is like a donkey, Wednesday is like an ant, Thursday is like a cow, Friday is like a dog, weekend is like a pig. Did you have a good time at the weekend?

7、有一缕思绪难以表达，有一条短信酝酿已久，有一份祝福悄然而至，有一种快乐油然而生。周末来到，让思念的短信飞越千山，跨过大海，向有你的方向飞去，为您送上一句：周末快乐!

7. A wisp of thoughts is hard to express, a short message has been brewing for a long time, a blessing has quietly arrived, and a kind of happiness is born spontaneously. Come to the weekend, let the missing message fly over the mountains, across the sea, to the direction of you, send you a sentence: happy weekend!

8、不管是昨天，今天还是明天，能豁然开朗就是美好的一天;不管亲情，友情还是爱情，能永远珍惜就是好感情;不管周一，周二还是周末，天天轻松就是幸福的日子。所以送上为你定制的短信，里面装着从星期一到星期天的好运与快乐，愿你周末快乐!

8. Whether its yesterday, today or tomorrow, its a beautiful day to be suddenly cheerful; whether its family, friendship or love, its a good feeling to cherish forever; whether its Monday, Tuesday or weekend, its a happy day to be relaxed every day. So send a customized message with good luck and happiness from Monday to Sunday. Wish you a happy weekend!

9、犹叹当年小蛮腰，看今朝，空余恨，一身五花膘。

9. I still sigh that I was a little man in those days. Look at the present time. I hate my spare time. Im full of fat.

10、上联：忙一天闲一天乐一天愁一天盼一天，上班时间。

10. The first couplet: busy day, idle day, happy day, worry day, hope day, work time.

11、时光冬来秋去，问候将你惦记。快乐才是主题，不要为难自己。烦事一笑过去，想哭不要压抑。累了午间休息，饮食按时合理。周末了，短信提醒你，好好休息，该吃吃，该玩玩，千万别委屈了自己!

11. Time comes in winter and autumn. Greetings will miss you. Happiness is the theme. Dont embarrass yourself. Dont be depressed if you want to cry. Tired to rest in the afternoon, diet on time reasonable. Weekend, SMS remind you, have a good rest, eat, play, never wronged yourself!

12、我想了很长时间才想起周末如何问候你，发个短信吧，手机没电了，打个电话吧，又忘记号码了，想去看你吧，兜里又没钱了。算了，你还是自己想象吧，所有的美好都是我给你的。不用谢我，应该的。

12. It took me a long time to think about how to greet you at the weekend. Send me a message. My cell phone is out of power. Call me. I forget my number. I want to see you. I have no money in my pocket. Forget it, youd better imagine yourself. Ill give you all the good things. You dont have to thank me, you should.

13、下联：睡一会醒一会坐一会躺一会愣一会，因为周末。

13. Second couplet: sleep, wake up, sit, lie down and stand still for a while, because of the weekend.

14、周五是什么?周五是黎明前的光辉，是航船看到的地平线，是周末的先行师，是狂欢的前奏曲过了周五，周末还会远吗?此刻，我的眼中闪闪发光，心中万马奔腾，脸上装作淡定，十分低调地告诉你：周末要来了，请做好准备!

14. What is Friday? Friday is the light before dawn, the horizon seen by the boat, the forerunner of the weekend, the prelude to Carnival. Will the weekend be far behind after Friday? At this moment, my eyes are shining, my heart is full of galloping horses, my face pretends to be calm and tells you in a very low-key way: the weekend is coming, please be ready!

15、海阔天空，在勇敢以后;发送祝福，在喝多以后;想要见你，在周末时候。不知你想没想我，我惦记了五天的回锅肉~

15. Open the sky, after brave; send blessings, after drinking too much; want to see you, at the weekend. I dont know if you think about me. Ive been thinking about it for five days~

16、好的美景我会记住,好的季节我会留恋,好的信息我会珍藏,好的朋友我会珍惜,好的微笑我会留住,好的祝福我会给你,祝周末快乐!

16. Good scenery I will remember, good season I will be nostalgic, good information I will treasure, good friends I will cherish, good smile I will keep, good blessing I will give you, happy weekend!

17、听说高考成绩公布那天恰好是端午节,至于是吃粽子还是跳江,你们自己看着办吧

17. Its said that the day when the college entrance examination results are announced happens to be the Dragon Boat Festival. As for eating zongzi or jumping on the river, do it by yourself

18、没有任何语言，表达我的思念，想你想得失眠，约你一天又天，你总说没有时间，就是不肯和我见面，我真的很想对你说：都周末了，快点还钱!

18. There is no language to express my missing. I miss you so much that I cant sleep. I ask you day after day. You always say that you dont have time, but you just dont want to meet me. I really want to say to you: its weekend, pay back the money quickly!

19、好风好月好心情，好吃好喝好开心，好梦好运好热闹，好人好家好康宁，周末到了，把十二个好送给你，祝你一生好好，全家好好，周末快乐!

19. Good wind, good month, good mood, good food, good drink, good dream, good luck, good fun, good family, good Corning, the weekend is here, give you 12 good things, I wish you a good life, a good family, a happy weekend!

20、铃声滴答滴答响，短信噼里啪啦忙，祝福屁颠屁颠道，问候咿咿呀呀叫，周末哗啦哗啦过，思念叽里呱啦说，我嘻嘻哈哈乐，你傻啦吧唧得瑟。哈，周末快乐!

20. The bell is ticking, the message is crackling and busy, the blessing is bumping and bumping, the greetings are chirping, the weekend is chattering, the missing is chirping, Im giggling, youre silly. Ha, happy weekend!

21、早晨是幸福的开始，傍晚是烦恼的结束，天晴是开心的起点，下雨是忧愁的结点。不管早晨傍晚，无论晴天雨天，请删除昨天的烦恼，选择今天的快乐，设置明天的幸福。周末到了，你一定要轻轻松松，快快乐乐!

21. Morning is the beginning of happiness, evening is the end of worry, sunny is the beginning of happiness, rain is the node of sorrow. No matter in the morning or in the evening, no matter in sunny or rainy days, please delete yesterdays worries, choose todays happiness and set tomorrows happiness. When the weekend comes, you must be relaxed and happy!

22、奉天承运，皇帝召曰：近日来，烦恼压力疲惫经常为非做歹，扰得民众睡觉不得安宁，特将三者发配充军到脑后，并派快乐舒心健康三位来抚慰大家，让大家安心入眠，开心入梦，钦比!朕的金口已开，你还不快快入睡?哈哈，亲爱的朋友，周五到咯，周末要好好休息哦!

22. The emperor summoned me to take the opportunity to deliver the goods to heaven, saying: in recent days, people have been bothered, stressed, tired and often doing evil, disturbing them to sleep, so they are sent to the back of their heads, and three happy, comfortable and healthy people are sent to comfort them, so that they can rest and dream happily. Chinbi! My golden mouth has opened, and you are not fast to sleep? Ha ha, dear friends, come on Friday, and have a good weekend Rest!

23、自从放假了。每天星期几都不知道了。

23. Since the holiday. I dont know the day of the week.

本文网址：//m.jym1.com/weimeijuzi/14850.html