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说说文案 特别皮的微信搞笑说说[收藏版]

保持幽默的态度生活会更加乐观,写一些幽默的句子给别人看能够让他人开心,幽默的语言能够创造愉悦的气氛,你喜欢哪一句幽默文案?句怡美网收集了《说说文案 特别皮的微信搞笑说说[收藏版]》,供您参考。

1、拖延症不是一种病态,而是一种非常智慧的生存策略,我们生活中遇到的很多问题,只要拖一拖,就会自行化解。如果没有化解,那是你拖得还不够久。

2、古时的姑娘相亲,愿意就说但凭爹娘做主,不愿意就说女儿还想陪爹娘两年。

3、每次考完试你都假装很高冷,因为别人在激烈讨论答案是A还是B的时候,你却想不通为什么自己选的C。

4、男的没对象,别人会安慰道,现在的女人要求太高;要是女的没对象,别人肯定说她的要求太高。

5、当你觉得自己什么都不会做,是个废物的时候,请记得要去找个收废品的,把自己卖了,换点钱。

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\06、当我讨厌一个人的时候,如果这个人突然说喜欢我,那我就一点也不讨厌对方了。就是这么有原则,无法讨厌一个有眼光的人。

7、北京重度污染,中小学放假,但成年人却要正常上班。这件事情告诉我们:珍惜你的学生时光吧,因为一旦长大,你就不能算是个人了。

8、如果你觉得一整天都累得跟狗一样,那你就错了:狗可没你这么累。

9、时间过得真快,才一秒的时间,就过了两秒。

10、感谢孙俪主演的“甄嬛传”和“芈月传”,虽然我一集都没看过,但我从此认识了“嬛”和“芈”这两字。

11、我发现我瘫痪了。我努力告诉自己,今天要上班,但是身体就是没反应。

12、你愿意做我的太阳吗?那么请与我保持92955886.7公里。

13、那年我背井离乡,从此乡里人再也没有喝过一口井水。

14、刚才在街上看到一个酷似你的身影,我像发了疯似的拼命追上去,突然间醒悟过来,原来你早已不在这个城市,于是我又默默地放下了手中的砖头。

jyM1.cOM阅读延伸

搞笑说说[收藏版]


多年之后,你若娶了,我若没嫁。叫你儿子放学路上小心点。

不要拿你的欣赏,决定我的价值。

妈妈对女儿说:“你要听话。你每惹妈妈生气一次,妈妈就长一根白头发。”女儿茅塞顿开:“哦,难怪姥姥的头发全白了。”

滚了就不要回来,姐不是收破烂的。

你有什么资格在我的世界里猖狂。

树无皮,必死无疑!人无脸,天下无敌!就是说你!

人生这么短,我凭什么还要委屈给你脸看。

钻石恒久远,一颗就破产!

你对一个人最高级别的信任是什么?“跟他出门不带一分钱。”

能从我手上抢走的东西 都是我扔下的垃圾。

天下乌鸦一般黑,还指望会有彩色的乌鸦么

幸福的极限是:全世界的猪都笑了;郁闷的极限是:全世界的猪都笑了,你还板着脸!

我从来不用酷狗,因为它根本不把我当人看,在我打开它时总叫我酷狗!

对于一个路痴来说,最值的热泪盈眶的就是,你站那别动,我去接你。

经典说说 微信段子手钟爱的搞笑说说![收藏版]


1、搞不懂只会把吃下去的东西变成屎的人,有什么资格说一个把吃下去的东西变成肉的人。

2、其实我小时候挺瘦的,一点也不胖,但是后来一句“不许剩饭”毁了我一生。

3、大家都是:情不知所起,一往而深;唯独我不一样,我是:钱不知所去,一贫如洗。

4、永远不要和父母吵架,因为你吵不赢的时候只有挨骂,当你吵得赢的时候只有挨打。

5、女孩子晚上千万不要一个人出门,真的很危险,满大街的烧烤夜宵甜点,没人劝阻,忍不住随便进一家,就要长好几斤肉。

6、入冬了,打开衣柜一看,我该逛街了,打开钱包一看,我还年轻,不冷。

7、别指望减肥了,八戒走了十万八千里也没见瘦下来。而且,他还吃素。

8、世界上没有无缘无故的爱,也没有无缘无故的恨,却偏偏有无缘无故的胖。

9、别沮丧了,虽然你不曾拥有一场说走就走的旅行,但至少还有一个说胖就胖的体型呀!

10、在家的时候,发烧还是会坚持上网,上学的时候,打个喷嚏都觉得是癌症晚期。

【精】特别皮的搞笑说说


1、承诺就像女人说要减肥一样,经常说却很难做到,一切都是假的话。

2、强迫症就是:睡觉前必须上个厕所,如果去过厕所后再玩手机,那一会睡觉还要再去一趟。

3、什么是安全感?就是做完题,有学霸和你念出了一样的答案。

4、情绪不好的时候,我就半夜给别人打骚扰电话,把他们吵醒了,我就睡觉。

5、月老,你能不能别再用劣质的线给我牵了嘛,隔三差五就断。

6、那个时候我没有什么才华,就单凭长得帅,所以那个时候,喜欢我的人还挺肤浅的,所以现在呢,我就喜欢肤浅的人。

7、你矮是终身的,我胖却是暂时的。

8、如果有来生,我一定要成为神经,因为我走了你就得脑残。

9、每次跟别人吵完架,等躺在床上的时候,才知道当时应该怎么骂。

10、沉默是金,我都沉默这么久了,怎么就没见到金子。

11、太关注我的人,一般只有两种人,一种是暗恋我的,一种是暗算我的。

12、毁掉一首好歌最好的方法就是把它设为起床闹铃。

说说文案_晒黑的搞笑说说[收藏版]


1、早饭过后,我走出家门,才发现外面更加寒冷,我不禁打着寒颤,上下两排牙齿七上八下的打架,脖子紧紧地缩在领子里,畏畏缩缩不敢放开脚步走。

1. After breakfast, I walked out of the house, only to find that it was colder outside. I could not help shivering. Two rows of teeth were fighting. My neck was tightly in the collar. I was afraid to let go.

2、无法启动学习模式,因为太冷,懒的动,卡机了。

2. Unable to start learning mode, because its too cold, lazy to move and jammed.

3、这个天,能让我在路上掏出手机和你打字聊天的人,绝对是我真爱。

3. This day, people who can let me take out my cell phone and chat with you on the road are absolutely my true love.

4、亲爱的宝贝,最近天气降温了,睡觉前记得泡脚喝牛奶,再涂点护手霜,盖上厚厚的被子。

4. Dear baby, the weather has cooled recently. Before going to bed, remember to soak your feet and drink milk, then apply some hand cream and cover with thick quilt.

5、世界上最遥远的距离不是生与死的距离,而是冬天被窝里和被窝外的温度差。

5. The furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, but the temperature difference between inside and outside the quilt in winter.

6、一晃两三年,匆匆又冬天。

6. Two or three years in a hurry and winter.

7、微风吹过,把枫叶留给你,玫瑰开过,把芳香留给你,岁月走过,把快乐留给你,流星划过,把希望留给你,短信发过,把祝福留给你,天冷了,注意身体,莫忘加衣。

7. The breeze blows, leaves the maple leaf to you, the rose opens, leaves the fragrance to you, the years passes, leaves the happiness to you, the meteor delimits, leaves the hope to you, the text message has sent, leaves the blessing to you, the day is cold, pays attention to the body, does not forget to add the clothing.

8、好好休息几天恢复一下被晒黑的皮肤一丢丢累。

8. Take a good rest for a few days to recover the sunburnt skin.

9、半个夏季过去,皮肤被晒黑一圈,容易被晒黑,又很难恢复,一般女人防护做得好,而男人不会太在意,包公也罢,酱鸭也行,非洲小白脸更贴切,不太注重外表形象,可能和职业有关,在为生计而疲于奔命时,很难顾及形象,打工的工作质量和效率是关键,那些靠颜值吃饭的演员、歌手、主持人,会注重职业形象。

9. Half a summer passed, the skin was suntanned in a circle, easy to be suntanned, and hard to recover. Generally, women do a good job of protection, but men dont care too much. Anyway, Baogong, soy duck is also good. African small white face is more appropriate, not paying much attention to appearance and image, which may be related to occupation. Its difficult to take image into account when struggling for a living. The quality and efficiency of work is the key Some actors, singers, and hosts who rely on their looks to eat will pay attention to their professional image.

10、冬天了请做好御寒工作:有老公的抱老公,有老婆的抱老婆,暂时没有的请抱暖水壶,且勿乱抱!实在不行该换毛的换毛。

10. In winter, please do a good job in keeping out the cold: hold your husband, hold your wife. If you dont have one for the time being, please hold the thermos, and dont hold it! I really cant change my hair.

11、在我面前秀恩爱的我用502封他嘴

11. Show love in front of me. Ill seal his mouth with 502

12、与皮肤白皙的人比较起来,皮肤较黑的人总是更容易被晒黑,除开基因遗传的因素,这是因为肤色的深浅很大程度上取决于婴幼儿乃至儿童时期暴露在日光中的时间长短。因此,防晒要从娃娃抓起!

12. Compared with people with fair skin, people with darker skin are always more likely to be suntanned, except for genetic factors, because the depth of skin color largely depends on the length of time exposed to sunlight in infants and even children. Therefore, sun protection should start from the doll!

13、天冷了不要忘了加衣服,当心不要感冒,照顾好自己,因为没有人会心疼。

13. Dont forget to add clothes when its cold. Be careful not to catch cold. Take good care of yourself, because no one will feel hurt.

14、天冷了,如果你不能给我个拥抱,那就给我买个外套。

14. Its cold. If you cant give me a hug, buy me a coat.

15、有一种冷不是你觉得冷,而是你妈觉得你冷。

15. There is a kind of cold that your mother thinks you are cold instead of you.

16、渐渐变冷的天气,想知道远方你的消息,是否注意身体照顾好自己,生活工作的压力,我不能为你代替,送上关心的话语几句,天冷别忘保暖加衣!

16. Gradually cold weather, want to know the news of you in the distance, whether to pay attention to take good care of yourself, the pressure of life and work, I cant substitute for you, send a few words of concern, dont forget to keep warm and add clothes in cold weather!

17、生命在于运动,健康勤于漱洗,快乐源于心情。早冻晚冻多运动,以动制冻;早洗晚洗天天喜,杀菌除疾。祝流感甲流躲着你,事事都如意。

17. Life lies in exercise, health and diligence, happiness comes from mood. Early freezing, late freezing and more movement, to make frozen; early washing and late washing every day, sterilization and disease elimination. I wish influenza A to hide from you and everything goes well.

18、大姐和我独得太阳恩宠,即使在皮肤被晒黑的时候,我们依然学会微笑,微笑。

18. Elder sister and I have unique sun favor. Even when our skin is suntanned, we still learn to smile and smile.

19、最近的鬼天气,让我觉得每次开门都像在开冰箱。

19. The recent ghost weather makes me feel like opening a refrigerator every time I open the door.

20、外面到处是冰条儿,地上也结了冰,连车子也戴上了防滑链。山上的松树堆满了蓬松松的雪球,路上的小树也挂满了毛茸茸、亮晶晶的银条儿。道真成了名副其实的粉妆玉砌的世界。

20. There are ice bars all over the outside, the ground is also frozen, and even the car is wearing snow chains. The pines on the mountain are full of fluffy snowballs, and the trees on the road are also covered with fluffy and shiny silver bars. Tao has become a world of true makeup.

21、这个季节出门,就只能被晒黑,我的白皮肤,啥时候能白回来。

21. When I go out this season, I can only get sunburn. My white skin will come back when its white.

22、最近的爱用物,奥尔滨2号美白渗透乳健康水。先乳后水一度让我在起初用时不适应,5月时不知为何会觉得油,起初真的是硬着头皮咬着牙继续用,想着用完绝不再买了,磨合了笑一个月,终于发现他的爱了,会让皮肤变得稳定起来,姨妈前也不会乱长痘。至于美白,夏天只要不被晒黑就好。

22. The latest favorite, orbin 2 whitening and penetrating milk health water. First milk and then water made me uncomfortable at first. In May, I didnt know why I felt oily. At first, I was really biting my teeth with my scalp. I thought I would never buy it again. After a month of running in and laughing, I finally found out that his love would make the skin stable and my aunt wouldnt get pimples. As for whitening, as long as you dont get tanned in summer.

23、月二十号快到了下午四点 花店的老板笑了傍晚六点 饭店的老板笑了晚上九点 KTV经理笑了晚上十二点 宾馆的

23. Its almost 4:00 p.m. on the 20th of the month. The owner of the flower shop laughs at 6:00 p.m. the owner of the hotel laughs at 9:00 p.m. the manager of KTV laughs at 12:00 p.m

24、夏季适合袒露欲望。裸露的被晒黑的皮肤,不停出汗散发着盐味儿的身体,聒噪的知了炽烈的阳光甚至突如其来的一场暴雨,都那么热烈、鲜明,像不停歇的呐喊。秋、冬、春则不然。这三个季节是世界逐渐掉色又艰难上色的过程,人类小心包裹自己,忘记曾赤脚奔跑过。

24. Summer is suitable for showing desire. The naked suntanned skin, sweating and salty body, noisy knowledge of the blazing sun and even a sudden rainstorm are all so warm and bright, like a constant cry. Autumn, winter and spring are not. These three seasons are the process of gradual fading and hard coloring of the world. Human beings carefully wrap themselves and forget that they have run barefoot.

25、夜很冷很冷,正是大寒将至的日子。湿冷的气息包裹着你,让你透不过气来。呵一呵手的心情都没有,因为心情已经冻僵。

25. Its very cold at night. Its the day when the cold is coming. The damp and cold breath envelops you and makes you breathless. Oh, I dont have a hand, because Im frozen.

26、忧愁有人分担,痛苦就会减轻;喜悦有人分享,快乐就会加倍;冬天有人惦记,寒冷就会止步;偶尔有人祝福,心情就会晴朗。天冷添衣,开心过冬!

26. When sorrow is shared, the pain will be relieved; when joy is shared, the happiness will be doubled; when winter is missed, the cold will stop; when there are blessings, the mood will be sunny. Add clothes in cold weather and have a good winter!

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