说说文案_中奖了搞笑说说[示例]

具有幽默感的人极具个人魅力，伤感时可以看一些让人开心的句子，幽默的话语时往往会更惹人喜欢，所以我们从幽默文案当中印象最深刻的句子是哪一句呢？句怡美网小编为大家收集整理了说说文案_中奖了搞笑说说[示例]，希望能够帮助到您。

1、我来了，既然来了我就得说几句!只说几句而已!如果我不说几句!就对不起人了，既然我要说几句!那么肯定是要说话的~所以我决定几句话也许能改变一切!也许我说的这几句话什么也不能改变!不过!就算我说的几句话什么都不能改变!可我还是要把我想说的几句话说出来!如果我不把我想说的几句话说出来!那么，我来到这里而不说出我想说的几句话~~首先不说我想说的这几句话就对不起我自己!其实我不说出这几句话来!就浪费我上面所说的几句话了!到最后我还是总结了一下!!!我只是随意说几句。

1. Im here. Now that Im here, I have to say a few words! Just a few words! If I dont say a few words, Im sorry. Since Im going to say a few words! Then I must say something ~ so I decide that a few words may change everything! Maybe I cant change anything! But even if I say a few words, nothing can change! But I still want to say a few words Come out! If I dont say what I want to say! Then, I come here and dont say what I want to say ~ ~ first of all, Im sorry for myself if I dont say what I want to say! In fact, I dont say these words! Its a waste of what I said above! In the end, Ill summarize it!!! I just say a few words at will.

2、刚才去李宁店想买件世界杯的汗衫穿，店员问我想要哪个队的，我说想要祖国队的，店员说没有，我说那就来个朝鲜队的吧，店员说也没有。我就想李宁的商品种类太不行了，还是明天赶集的时候买件阿迪达斯穿吧。

2. Just now I went to Li Nings shop to buy a world cup sweatshirt. The clerk asked me which team I want. I said that I want the Chinese team, but the clerk said no. I said that I would like to have a Korean team, and the clerk said no. I think Li Nings product range is too poor. Id better buy an Adidas dress in the market tomorrow.

3、又看到你在发说说了，这让我不由的为你担心：你高数完成了么?英语四六级能过么?生活规划有了么?大学是让你每天发说说么?发说说能让你以后在社会中立足么?发说说能让你顺利找到工作么?发说说能让你父母安心么?发说说能找到对象么?有没有想过，以后就靠你一个人去打拼，社会的漩涡时刻都会把你卷进去，弱肉强食的竞争是你能承受的么?不好好学习以后怎么会有一技之长，怎么会突出自己，不好好学习以后怎么回报父母，发说说能解决这些问题么?你在空间里乱发说说你父母知道吗?发说说能让你的人生一帆风顺么?残酷的社会不是你这些说说能抵抗的，惟有认真努力的去学习，丰富自己，完美自己，才能让你与众不同，才能让你有能力去五杀去团灭，懂了么?明白了么?醒悟了么?sao年不哭，回头再发一条说说来感悟......

3. I cant help worrying about you: have you finished your high math? Can you live in CET-4 or CET-6? Do you have a life plan? Does the university let you talk about it every day? Can talking about it make you stand in the society in the future? Can talking about it make you find a job smoothly? Can talking about it make your parents feel at ease? Can talking about it make you find a partner? Have you ever thought about it, I will rely on it in the future When you go to fight alone, the whirlpool of society will always involve you. Can you bear the competition between the weak and the strong? How can you have a skill when you dont study hard, how can you highlight yourself, how can you repay your parents when you dont study hard, and how can you solve these problems? Do you know how to talk about your parents in the space? Can you make your life smooth when you talk about it? Cruel society is not something you can resist. Only by studying hard, enriching yourself, and perfecting yourself, can you be different, can you be able to kill five people and kill the group, understand? Understand? Wake up? Sao doesnt cry in the past year, and then send another one to understand

4、上学你带了什么?一颗随时准备放假的心

4. What did you bring to school? A heart ready for holidays

5、一次玩的路上，听见一个老师教幼儿园的小孩：幸福是什么？幸福是猫吃鱼，狗吃肉，奥特曼打打小怪兽。同学说：我来加工一下，幸福是什么？幸福是猫抓鼠，狗咬猫，奥特曼打打小狗狗。

5. On the way to play, I heard a teacher teaching kindergarten children: what is happiness? Happiness is cat eating fish, dog eating meat, Altman fighting small monsters. Classmate says: I come to process, what is happiness? Happiness is cat catching mouse, dog biting cat, Altman beating dog.

6、公司一男同事和一女同事开玩笑打闹时男的不小心把香水喷到女的眼睛里，女的瞬间泪流满面，男的豪爽地说：没事，瞎了我养你一辈子！。刚巧这男的女朋友来接他下班，在门口听到了这句。男的没等女朋友开口，果断地拉着女同事到他女朋友身边说：来，叫妈！

6, when a male colleague and a female colleague joked and played, the man accidentally spilled perfume into the eyes of the woman. The woman instantly burst into tears. The man said boldly, nothing, I am blind. I will support you forever! It happened that the mans girlfriend came to pick him up from work and heard this at the door. The man didnt wait for his girlfriend to speak, decisively took his girlfriend to his girlfriend and said: come on, call mom!

7、几个人在高尔夫更衣室，一手机响很久，一男人按了免提键。女：亲爱的你在俱乐部吗？男:在。女：我看到一辆宝马才不到两百万。 男人：买 。女：还有那个楼盘又放盘了，6万一平。男：买。女：好爱你。男：也爱你。 旁边男人敬佩得目瞪口呆。男人挂了电话，问：这是谁的手机？

7. Several people are in the golf changing room. A mobile phone rings for a long time. A man presses the handsfree key. Woman: are you in the club, dear? Man: Yes. Woman: I see a BMW less than two million. Man: buy it. Woman: and that property has been released again. In case its flat. Man: buy. Woman: I love you so much. Man: I love you too. The man beside was stunned with admiration. The man hung up and asked: whose cell phone is this?

8、有一天上课，老师问小丽：祖国是什么？小丽说：老师，祖国是我的母亲，老师说：回答的很好。接着老师又问小明：小明，祖国是什么啊？小明说：老师，祖国是小丽的母亲。

8. One day in class, the teacher asked Xiao Li: what is the motherland? Xiao Li said: teacher, the motherland is my mother, the teacher said: the answer is very good. Then the teacher asked Xiaoming: Xiaoming, what is the motherland? Xiaoming said: teacher, the motherland is Xiaolis mother.

10、上机考试，先在备考区等，再经过一扇大玻璃门进考区。我考完后，在门口摸了良久，就是摸不到玻璃，旁边好心老师提醒我：同学，门是开着的。

10. For the computer test, first wait in the preparation area, and then enter the test area through a large glass door. After I finished the exam, I felt at the door for a long time, but I couldnt touch the glass. The good teacher nearby reminded me: schoolmate, the door is open.

11、你突然不回我消息的时候，我总是安慰自己：没事，你大概是死了。

11. When you suddenly dont return my news, I always comfort myself: its OK, you are probably dead.

12、佐菲奥特曼、初代奥特曼、赛文奥特曼、杰克奥特曼、艾斯奥特曼、泰罗奥特曼、雷欧奥特曼、爱迪奥特曼、阿斯特拉奥特曼、尤迪安奥特曼、博伊奥特曼、乔尼亚斯奥特曼、史考特奥特曼、察克奥特曼、贝斯奥特曼、葛雷奥特曼、帕瓦特奥特曼、哉阿斯奥特曼、迪迦奥特曼、戴拿奥特曼、盖亚奥特曼、阿古茹奥特曼、高斯奥特曼、杰斯提斯奥特曼、雷杰多奥特曼、奈克斯特奥特曼、奈克瑟斯奥特曼、诺亚奥

12. Zoffi Altman, first generation Altman, savin Altman, Jack Altman, estealtman, Taylor Altman, Leo Altman, edialtman, astraaltman, utian Altman, boyaltman, jonyas Altman, scot Altman, chuck Altman, besaltman, grealtman, pawattman, Yaz astot Man, diga Altman, Dana Altman, Gaia Altman, aguru Altman, Gauss Altman, jestis Altman, rejedo Altman, NEXTER Altman, nexus Altman, NOAO

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搞笑说说[示例]

结婚九块。离婚十二块。傻子才离婚呢那么贵

令我感到骄傲和自豪的是，至今为止，地球仍被我踩在脚下。

看到你的脸，就觉得你爸妈在制造你的时候没认真。

你跟谁俩整那表情呢，我欠你贷款要到期了还是怎么的。

爱说爱笑，我浑身骄傲，不哭不闹，我无视所有嘲笑。

就让我忙的疯掉，忙的累倒，连哭的时间都没有最好。

一称体重我就很不开心，不开心的时候我就想吃东西。

我所谓的梦想，就是晚上做梦，白天还在空想。

当我看见美女的时候，首先摸摸兜里，看看有没有钱

别把自己想的多么伟大、其实你跟动物一样，一样需要食物。

人生的第一句谎话是从小学写作文开始的，而真心话是从写情书开始的。

幸福动作要领：烦恼忧伤，踢一脚；吉祥如意，抓一把；快乐甜蜜，亲一口；财源好运，抱一下。愿你快乐幸福，不止一下下。

话说箭有金箭，铁箭，铜箭，你偏偏要学银箭！话说武功有十八种360招，你偏偏要学醉箭，于是不久江湖上出现了你：“醉银箭！”

做女人可以性感，可以妖艳，可以清纯，唯独不可以平庸。

今天带着4岁的女儿到自动取款机取钱。取完钱后，见女儿呆呆的望着取款机，问她怎么了，答：爸爸，我们家也买个这种机器吧。

对付疲惫：睡觉。对付恐惧：睡觉。对付感冒：睡觉。对付饥饿：睡觉。对付失恋：睡觉。一觉治百病，一觉平天下，专注睡觉二十年，睡觉！值得信赖！

qq搞笑说说[示例]

1．愿有人陪你颠沛流离，而我舒舒服服窝在家里数钱。2．深夜除了多愁善感，还有被手机砸脸。3．我好怕被台风吹到别人怀里去，毕竟像我这样的，别人是肯定不会还的。4．对自己好点，能怪男朋友就别怪自己。5．世界上没有无缘无故的爱，也没有无缘无故的恨，却TM偏偏有无缘无故的胖。

6．希望手机能懂点事，不要再拉着我陪它熬夜了。7．据说脸大的人脾气一般都超好，因为脸大翻脸真的好辛苦。8．室友走了以后，就像家里猪圈的猪丢了。9．班主任发现班里有两个小朋友在早恋。她懒得请家长，也懒得教育，直接让两个小孩分别与班里最漂亮的萝莉和班里最帅的正太坐同桌。一周后，这对小情侣的早恋就在猜疑和嫉妒中结束了。

10．这么不要脸，这么没心没肺，你的体重应该会很轻吧。11．熬夜这事，一不小心没做好，就成了通宵。12．如果上帝关掉你的一扇窗，顺便也把门堵上了，有可能上帝要开空调了哦。13．曾经梦想仗剑走天涯，后来作业太多就没去。14．我是一个善于反省自己的人，比如我反手给你一巴掌之后，我会想想自己是不是打轻了。15．只要你要，只要我有，不管什么，老子都不会给你。16．不养猫猫狗狗我只养你，毕竟养猪能致富。17．我已经掌握了36种，藏私房钱的方法，接下来只差钱了。18．每次别人问路我都是瞎指的，第一是因为我根本不认识路，第二是为了给世人一个教训，不要随便相信长得好看的。

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